The most dreaded question for a homemaker.

Fortunately or unfortunately, I am a homemaker. I stay at home and do nothing that adds to my family's income. That I  am full time busy, is a part of my life that stays invisible to everyone. The best part of my job is I get to enjoy my kids childhood and the worst part is a very dreaded question.
"What do you do the whole day?"
I don't know whether it irks all other housewives or not, but it irks me to my bones. In fact, this question has started casting on me a depressing effect.
Here are my answers for one and all who think that housewives don't contribute to a home financially.

1. I am the earliest to get up and the last one to go to bed. I clean, cook, do the laundry, get my kids ready for school and also get my husband ready for office. I plan and prepare for healthy meals. After my kids come back from the school, I help them with their studies. In short, I am a maid, a cook, a nanny, a tutor - all of these and more, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. So honey, try and monetize the work that I do. It saves my home a lot of money. As the finance wizards say, 'money saved is money earned.'                            
2. Many housewives get a piece of advice frequently, "try and do something creative". Really!! What makes people feel that my lot is not a creative bunch, I am yet to decipher. Perhaps the daily soaps on television has let people to think this way. This stereotyping is unfair. Most homemakers that I know use their free time very efficiently. They read a lot. They might be searching for interesting recipes to prepare a surprise treat or might be browsing through some journal to design their homes better. Might be they are( I am one of such kind)  looking out for something to quench their thirst of knowledge, or something to tickle the artist in them. The crux is they are spending their time creatively and for some good purpose. 
3. A housewife makes sure that everything runs smoothly at the home front so that other members of the home are able to go out and do their duties well. When a man is successful in his career, he has the sacrifices of his wife as his background. When a child does well in life, it's his mother's sacrifices sprinkled all over his journey. It takes courage to give up one's career, and blend oneself into a life, that is not well appreciated.

Women make homes out of houses. They might go out to work and earn money or they may stay at home and save money. It's important to respect their contribution towards family and society.
Friends, if you have ever encountered similar questions, what was your response? Do let me know by commenting. It might help me and others facing such questions to answer effectively.
Thank you. 

With love, from a teenager to her parents

Lessons from a daughter 

Our teenagers can teach us valuable parenting lessons. Don't believe. Read this true story to find out.
Time really sprints with
 kids. It feels like yesterday, when my daughter was a toddler, just taking her first few steps, speaking out words, that had no sense at all. With some effort, I could  somehow  make out whole gist of her babbling. Still I thought, only if she could speak, it would be so much easier. Time changed my thoughts. She is thirteen now and a complete motor mouth, I must admit but I fail to understand her needs that well now.
As a teenager, she has her mood swings. Some moment, she is chirping and humming like a bird and the next moment, she withdraws herself.
 I can't restrain myself from asking, " what's the matter dear? "
"Forget it mom, you won't understand ", comes her quaint reply. I am like, 'I won't understand, I who could understand all of your gibberish babbles? ' But I give up. I know it is of no use prodding further.
Honestly, parenting a teen is much more difficult than parenting an infant.
A few months ago, they had a fest at school. The authorities had come out with a themed T-shirt. Since the fest was towards the end of the month, my daughter had exerted all her pocket money. I was aware of this. So, I loaned her the amount from my side, that is without her asking.( This was a mistake.) This was three days prior to the fest.

That day as she came back from the school, I asked her to show me the T-shirt. She replied, she hadn't find time to fetch the T-shirt and she will get it tomorrow. The next day she had the same answer. I smelled something foul and asked her to return me the money back. Her head still buried in a novel, she replied , "what's the hurry. I will give it after dinner. " Most of the times, I am forgetful and she was trying to use my forgetfulness to her advantage. But she couldn't judge a mother's sixth sense. It  had warned me about something awry.
Nevertheless, I took her to task post dinner. She again tried to play with me saying since she needed money to spend at her fest, I let her keep it. Next month I could then deduct it from her pocket money. I thought, 'fair enough ', and turned away. It's amazing how easily kids take their parents for a ride!
My heart, however didn't buy this excuse. After cleaning up, I again turned to my daughter's room and asked her to show me the money. She turned pale. A small nudging  let the cat out of the bag. Apparently, her class had been given a stall to manage and she had spent the money on decking it up. I was aghast! My first reaction was anger. I wanted to shout at her crazy. It took a lot of effort, literally lot of effort to stay mum. She had been lying to me since two days!  It was like, all the time I was in the midst of a sweet dream and someone had thrown cold water on my face. I felt hurt, angry, frustrated, fragile, all at the same time.
A few deep breaths later, I calmly confronted her. I assumed that she might have understood that she had hurt me. I was wrong again.
She replied back, "I knew you wouldn't understand, that's why I didn't want to tell you." Again a feeling of exasperation enveloped me. I tried speaking to her, conveying that I was upset because she had been lying to me since last two days and that lying was akin to cheating. To grasp her thought process, I told her to write a letter to me explaining, what she thought was her mistake and how could that be avoided. Plus I took the charger of her smartphone away till she finished her task. (This works as a charm to get the work done  quickly)
 An excerpt from the letter - "I don't think I did anything wrong by spending the money. It was for a right purpose. Though I may have erred when I lied to you. I was frightened. Everyone does the same. Don't you do the same when you are frightened? I have seen you lying to Papa umpteen times, when you think he might get crossed. Lying is natural, cheating isn't. We lie to protect ourselves and we cheat to cause harm to others. So I haven't cheated you mom. "
That instant I understood that if I have to deliver the lessons of life to my kids, I better practice them myself. I wanted my kids to confide in me but I was setting up a wrong example by not confiding in to my partner. I want them to be able to overcome their fears but I myself couldn't muster the courage to accept my mistakes. So before I could teach them the difference between ethical and non ethical lies, I need to practice the lesson myself.
Her letter is my Bible of parenting. It still lies in my locker. 

Lullaby

Sweet dreams

Essential life skills for every teen.

When it comes to educating kids, parents think their onus ends at finding the best possible school for them.  What we as parents however forget that there are some lessons of life that can be administered to them only by us. Many look down  upon skills like cooking, cleaning up and doing laundry as unnecessary burden on the kids, specially when it comes to boys. The result is when a kid steps out to be on his own, he is in a complete mess.
In this post we come out with a list of ten such

important lessons of life that every teenager

should have atleast a working knowledge of.

Cooking a simple meal - One may not train a child to be the next master chef but it is imperative to teach him at least how to make a sandwich or toast a bread or brew a cup of tea. He should at least be able to put something in his hungry stomach when parents are not around.

Get ready for school - Most mothers will remind their children of their pending assignments, arrange their routine, fill their bottles. We fail to realize that we are making them dependent for simple chores which he is capable of doing himself.

Wake themselves up - Every teenager should be able to wake himself up by the help of an alarm clock. This is a very necessary skill he/she should  master when he is in high school.

Do his laundry  - He must be able to do his laundry,  take care of his clothes and other stuff.  No one will  do this for him when he is out camping or on some excursion.

Advocate for themselves  - The kid should be able to advocate for himself. While it may be easier and even more effective at first ,that parents advocate for their kids, in the long run it will help them if they have this skill mastered.

Be proactive  - He should be groomed to be proactive to take up tasks enthusiastically.This will not only boost his confidence but also build his leadership skills.

Talk to strangers  - It is our duty to show them the difference  between those creepy strangers and the harmless ones.  He should be able to strike a conversation with strangers as we all know effective communication skills are very important to climb the ladder of success.

Take public transport - A child in his late teens should be able to use public transport and be able to commute to and fro  from the known destinations.

When we encourage our children to be self reliant, we are ushering him towards leadership. It may feel emotionally bloating, to hear continuous string of 'ma' , but it will be best for him to train him to be independent. Because we will not be present for our children forever. We often think that by doing his chores we are showing our concern with him. At the end choice is ours.

Ten summer foods to keep you cool this summer

Heat is creating new records every year. Air conditioners, fans and coolers are working overtime and yet they are not enough. A step out of the  a. c. is synonymous to a step inside a blast furnace. The very thought of outdoors is nauseating. Imagine there were days when we used to spend the whole of summer playing outdoors!
Ever wondered how our bodies were so well prepared to take the atrocities of summer then and why not now! The answer  of course lies in food. There are some food like mustard oil, garlic, ghee etc. which are warm by nature. Similarly some food cools us down. It's like they trigger the inbuilt air conditioner in our bodies. We produce before you  a list of  ten such foods that will breeze you through this hard season.

1. Phaalse - These are a variety of blueberries found in North India. Rich in magnesium, calcium, iron, Vitamin A and C, it's roots, stems and leaves all contain medicinal properties. In fact the Encyclopedia of World medicinal plants refer to it as a wonderful astringent and coolant. The ripe fruits cool down body temperature and their juice is considered as an elixir for summer. 
2. Tar - Called as Palmyra fruits in english, these sweet and juicy fruits are perfect  summer treats. They are rich in minerals like zinc, iron, potassium, calcium and phosphorus and vitamins B and C. They soothe the digestive system and are a great home remedy for painful urination. One can use them in thin layer on the prickly heat rashes or as face packs for inflammatory skin problems caused due to heat. 
3. Sattu- It is the roasted Bengal gram flour. The flour is high in fibre and proteins and low in sodium. A glass of sattu drink acts as a cooling tonic for the body. Sattu keeps the tummy cool and helps in indigestion which is a common summer ailment. It hydrates the hair and skin and also prevents the wear and tear of skin cells. 
4. Bael - These are called wood apple in English. Fibre rich fruits, they are a good source of calcium and phosphorus. The fruits and leaves have deworming  properties. A glass of bael  drink reduces heat from the body thus helping us to cool down from inside. When consumed an hour before  lunch  it can effectively combat digestive issues like acidity and constipation. 
5. Sugarcane  - High concentration of calcium, magnesium, potassium, manganese and iron makes sugarcane juice the perfect drink to replenish electrolytes in our system which we loose due to excessive  sweating. It is an energy  booster drink and an effective digestive agent. The drink is rich in antioxidants and a glass daily keeps the skin well hydrated. 
6. Mint - There are numerous ways to use this antioxidant rich herb. One can add it in food,  make a refreshing drink out of it or grind and use as chutney. Mint oil has cooling and toning effects on skin. Mint water helps release enzyme histamine which boosts immunity against summer allergies. 
7. Raw mangoes  - Raw mangoes negates the effects of excessive hot temperature. Being rich in vitamin B And C,  they improve our immune system. Raw Mango drink or Aam Panna  is a great coolant and energising drink for the  body.
8. Lemons - The very image of lemons refreshes us. So what can be a better friend than lemons this summer. Lemonades are the best drink any time.  They are mild on children's tummies and are a good  home remedy for urinary tract infection which is a very painful summer ailment. They being rich in vitamin C also improve immunity against throat infections which our kids suffer from, commonly in summer. Lemons are the key to a shining face and lustrous hair too. 
9. Cucumber  - Well of course, they are one of the most well known summer food.  What we didn't know was that a cup of cucumber  is as thirst quenching as a glass of water. With 95% of water by weight, it is like a bottle of water packed by nature. In addition, it manages stress and freshens our breath. Use it as a face pack to get rid of those ugly dark circles or fine wrinkle lines and look as cool as a cucumber. 
10. Melons - Melons are low calorie food. Water makes 92% of melons. So they are perfect thirst quenches. Melons also contain those important electrolytes that we loose due to sweating. They are rich in vitamins, minerals and antioxidants. Their refreshing and sweet taste make it a guilt free dessert for the dieters too. 

Nature designs the answers to all the problems it causes. Hence the seasonal fruits. We ignore nature's bounty for instant gratification. Cold drinks and ice-creams may cool us in an instant but the truth is they bring harm to our internal cooling system. Carbonated drinks increase our internal temperature where as ice-cream is the main culprit behind throat infections. Ever heard of someone having a sore throat  due to melons or cucumber?
That's all I had, to share on this topic. Hope we all beat the heat naturally. 

Six simple ways to keep your kids busy this vacation

Summer  has breezed in and vacations are  just  round the corner.  Vacations are our breathing space  in the middle of dreary and fast paced  life. It's very  referral  brings into mind a whole lot of  memories. Remember that  visit to nanibari, gulping loads of  mangoes and just sitting  simply doing nothing.

Flashback  off. Buzz in to  the present. You see your kids  spending endless hours watching  television  or playing  on their tablets. You get exasperated. We take them out  on  holidays  or get them enrolled in a summer camp. Camps or holidays however  last only for a few days and we are back to  square one.  So let's  plan something that creates nostalgia for  them when  they  grow up. Something  that productively  uses their time and  strengthens the bond between  you two.
We have  come  out with  a list of

eight such activities  to do this vacation

.

1. Create something  together.  Pen down your  thoughts  and write a  story  or a poem together  or get crafty  and paint something  together. May be choreograph a song together. It doesn't  have to be a  masterpiece, just enjoy being together and create memories together.
2. Direct them to  write  letters  to their grandparents  or friends. No technology can  match the  thrill of writing a letter  and waiting for the reply  back. Plus this activity  will teach them to be patient and demonstrate to them the fruits of  waiting.
3. Throw a challenge to  them. Ask them to  read a book  in a record  time  and write a  review of  it. Or tell them to browse  for new words in the newspaper  and make a collage of  pictures  related to  the words.
4. Install a good habit or delete a bad one from  their system.  Our ancient  scriptures  say, it takes  forty days to create  or break a habit. Summer  vacations being the longest  holiday season, it is the perfect time to put the kids to a good  habit or weed out a bad one.
5. Once a week switch off all the  gadgets. Tell them to take  time doing nothing, just gazing at the  sky or stars at night. Remember  how  we used to imagine  figures in clouds and  stars. This is the perfect way to enlighten them on communicating with their inner self. It is a very important skill to learn taming the  monkey  mind.
6. Take time to  coach them on some life saving  skills. Today's  kids can shop on Amazon  but have little  knowledge about  the local markets. Take them there and let them see you  bargaining. Let them learn how to make  their beds  or arrange  their cupboards. These will come  very handy,  once they are  out on their own.

Friends,  vacations are  the only  time  we get to spend some quality time with our kids. They are meant to be a sort of  breather for our children, instead we put on them burden of extra classes. Let's give them a break. Let  them explore their  pace and feel the calm.
Thank you for giving us your time and reading our post. Please let us know if it was of any help and please  share if you  think it can be of use to  someone else.

Tips to Keep Kids Safe Online

• Start discussing online safety at an early age
• If you wouldn’t do it face to face - Don’t do it online
• At least I don’t feel like a spy...
• Teach them to beware of strangers bearing gifts
• Once you’ve written something you can’t delete it
• Never, under any circumstances, browse unaccompanied
• Try and be vigilant and monitor what you can
• Educate early and often
• Not just to tell them the rules but also to spend the time
• Become friends and contacts in your child’s social media

• Imagine a responsible adult standing behind them
• It’s about them understanding simple safety rules
• Just apply standards you adopt offline to the online world

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“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”